How to talk so children listen…

Meditation and inner calmness in our workshops

Parenting is the most challenging job on earth and has no time limits! In our modern life, we often feel overwhelmed by parenting and the level and complexity of challenges is only increasing. So where do we turn as parents and who can we trust to help us? Anupam and Christine are both educationalists and parents. 

As a parents we have to see the world from our children’s perspective – no matter how young or old they are and provide them with what he or she requires, not to impose our ideas. If there is something to tell, we must do it at the right moment. Not when we or our children are distracted. But when they are ready. See from their point of view. See the chance to give advice.  Be friendly. 

It will make the life of the parent easier and non-competitive, reminders are needed but must be done in a friendly and calm way. Let moments pass, but the importance of finding a teachable moment – this is key. This is when a young adult is ready. It’s not always going to be a case of parental authority. This will go a long way to making a child receptive, and listening to you. 
 

How do we address communication problems within a family? 

The common phrases we hear in families are “you don’t understand me” This comes down to a lack of understanding of one’s own self and needs. This training program reflects on being our own positive self so that we can be empathetic to our young people and ourselves, when we do this the chance of miscommunication will be much less. We will be calm, peaceful and say what is necessary for ourselves and our children, therefore the need for passing a message is key. 

This is what we call teachable moments in terms of timing of a message, we will not be in a hurry – understand a situation and what we need to do. This understanding of others and oneself needs empathy – to treat others as we want to be treated. This principle ensures, to a great extent, the success of communication. Again it comes to being genuine and having an understanding of others.

It’s extremely rare we need to rush in life – by slowing down we find the right answers. The universe has more than enough… What is our place? Only then things can work out. This thought eases a lot of communication issues. Modern day teaching models put pressure on parents, this is not about right or wrong. It’s about placing things in their appropriate places – goals, lessons, emotions, actions… in their place. Any good thing that is put in the wrong place and in the wrong way can be very wrong. This is nothing new, but a very important thing. Calmness first – empathy – then we can speak and take the right action.

In conclusion – communication with others starts with better communication and awareness in ourselves. If we want to inspire our children to listen we must remember to be calm above all else. 

Important skills and competencies such as these are discussed on program called “How to develop parenting skills”